"Get this," said a guy to his friends, "Last night, while I was down at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house."
"Did he get anything?" his friends asked.
The guy said, "Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs."
One of his friends ask, "Whoa! But... how?"
The guy answered, "Well, it was really late at night and my wife thought it was me coming home drunk!"