Showing posts with label Gays-and-Lesbians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gays-and-Lesbians. Show all posts

Friday, May 9, 2014

Get-together

A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend.

He said, "I have to warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this party."
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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Ringhole

This man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state, really bad now.

Doctor: "What happened to you?"

He says: "I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!"

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Monday, February 8, 2010

Blow My Brains Out!

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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Just Don't Shoot!

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Monday, April 7, 2008

Refried Beans on Saturday Night

Why do gays eat refried beans on Saturday night?

So they can take a bubble bath Sunday morning.
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Pick Up Line in a Gay Bar

Q: What is the most popular pick up line in a gay bar?
A: Can I push your stool in?
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Saturday, February 16, 2008

Confused Bank Robber

Two lovers fall on hard times and decided to rob a bank together. The first lover plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the second lover in great detail.

The robbery begins. The first lover drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the other lover, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"

"Perfectly," he said.
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Monday, February 11, 2008

Can't Find My Way...

"I can't find my way through all this shit", said one gay sperm to the other...

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Two Cowboys and a Heifer

Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her head stuck.

The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: "This is too good to pass up."
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How Faggots Get a Condom Off

Do you know how faggots get a condom off?

They simply fart!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Framed Picture

After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is that your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
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Sunday, January 13, 2008

Turner Brown

A small guy goes into an elevator and notices a huge guy standing next to him. The big guy looks down on the small white guy and says, "Seven foot tall, three hundred fifty pounds, twenty-inch dick, three-pound left ball, three-pound right ball, Turner Brown."

The small guy faints!
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Monday, December 24, 2007

Dating Susan

The mother of a 17 year old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful, and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Unwary Wish

A gay couple had been partnered for 25 years and was celebrating the 60th birthday of one of them. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.

The one who was giving the party said, "We`ve blown all our money on parties and fine dining and decorating this house, I`ve never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world."
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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Blowing Smoke

Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand:

"What is your name?" he asked.

"John," the guy answered.

"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

10 Shots of Whiskey

There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender, "10 shots of whiskey".

The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"

The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."
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Gay Revenge

A man came home just in time to find his lover in bed with another man. In a total rage, he dragged his lover down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He then secured it tightly and removed the handle.
Next he picked up a hacksaw.

The lover terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?"
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Bad Taste

A young man walked up and sat down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquired.

"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.

"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
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Bad Habits

Three guys are in a doctor`s office. One is a drunk, another`s a smoker and the third`s a gay guy. The doctor tells each of them that, if they indulge in their bad habit one more time, they will die.

Outside they pass a bar. The drunk says, "I don`t care if I die, I need a drink."

The drunk goes into the bar takes a drink and, sure enough, he drops dead.
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Ashes to Ashes

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.

The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I`m going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."

The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I`m going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."
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