Funny Auto Insurance Claim Excuses (Part 3)

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

An ambulance backed up suddenly.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
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Funny Auto Insurance Claim Excuses (Part 2)

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

I misjudged a lady crossing the street.
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Funny Auto Insurance Claim Excuses (Part 1)

I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
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The Insurance Attorney is No Equal With a Redneck Driver

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.

Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.

Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
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Extracts From Insurance Claim Forms

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.

This customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
 
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn

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Larry's Barn Burned Down...

Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."

The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."
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Relaxing Weekends

Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.

Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:
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Military Life Insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch.

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Law Suit

A farmer who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim.

"I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're supposed to have suffered?" stated the counsel for the insurance company.

"Yes, that's right," replied the farmer, nodding his head.
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Confusing Question

A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"

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GI insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
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Farmers' Wife

An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer.

"Look at it this way," he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die?"
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Insurance Claim

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against … get this … fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in “a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion.
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Fishing in the Caribbean

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.

The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
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Three Nurses at the Pearly Gates

Three nurses arrive at the pearly gates. St. Peter asks the first why he should admit her.

She replies that she has been an emergency room nurse and has saved thousands and thousands of lives.

"OK", he says, "Come on in!"
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How Many Doctors?

How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?

It depends on what kind of insurance the bulb has.