Sunday, December 23, 2007

Ten Things to Say about Gifts You Don't Like

  1. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
  2. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
  3. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
  4. Well, well, well...
  5. I really don't deserve this.
  6. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
  7. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
  8. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
  9. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
  10. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.