Ten Things to Say about Gifts You Don't Like
- Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
- It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
- Perfect for wearing in the basement.
- Well, well, well...
- I really don't deserve this.
- Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
- I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
- If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
- Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
- To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
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