Friday, September 12, 2014

Home from Shopping Trip

A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:

"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about."
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Thursday, September 11, 2014

Theatrical Terms

I can't help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you've heard men refer to their "performance".
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Monday, September 8, 2014

Little Johnny at the Circus

Little Johnny is excited because the circus has come to town and his mum has got front row tickets for him. Finally the evening comes and Little Johnny and his mum go off to the big top. Little Johnny sits there and enjoys the lions and the tigers and the jugglers and the trapeze artists, and finally out comes little Johnnys favourites, the clowns.
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Saturday, September 6, 2014

Bit by Bit

Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

Doctor: I am, bit by bit.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Informing the Pilot

On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window.

Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light.

Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
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Thursday, September 4, 2014

Daddy Hugged

The little daughter asked her mother, "How do you make a baby?"

The mother didn’t know how to react.  So she thought real hard, "Well, daddy hugged mommy really hard and 9 months later we had a baby."
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Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Drinking Problem

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name… and you’ve never been to that bar before.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Temptations

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.

After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?"

The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."

Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you're suposed to be celibate. But..."
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