A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes
later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the
seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.
The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to
wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he
can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at
the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of
nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer
and he pukes all over the big guy's chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.
"So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver
has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds
and turns off the car. He says, "Alright guys we're here!"
The first drunk tips him £10 and gets out.
The second drunk tips him £20 and gets out.
The third drunk then slaps the driver across the face.
Worried that the drunk had realized the car hadn't moved an inch, he asks the drunk, "What was that for?"
The drunk says, "Control your speed next time. You almost killed us!"