Sunday, November 25, 2007

Dating Dictionary

Attraction: the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

Love at First Sight: what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

Dating: the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

Birth Control: avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

Easy: a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Eye Contact: a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

Friend: a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

Indifference: a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".

Interesting: a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Irritating Habit: what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

Law of Relativity: how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Nymphomaniac: a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
Sober: condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.