He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him... and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from... so he says... "Sorry... Do you know me?"
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Hot Blonde
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him... and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from... so he says... "Sorry... Do you know me?"
Read more »
Deaf Mafioso and Interpreter
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting.' Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job, figuring if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
In his first week, the deaf collector picks up more than $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money, and stashes it in a safe place.
Read more »
In his first week, the deaf collector picks up more than $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money, and stashes it in a safe place.
Read more »
Annual Checkup
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
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"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
Read more »
Sexy Seniors
An old couple go to a doctor and ask him to watch them have sex and tell if he see's them doing anything wrong. So they have sex.
While they are getting dressed the doctor said, "Well I don't see anything wrong!"
A week later they come again and ask the doctor to watch to see if they are doing anything wrong. They have sex and the doctor says, "Well again I don't see anything wrong."
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While they are getting dressed the doctor said, "Well I don't see anything wrong!"
A week later they come again and ask the doctor to watch to see if they are doing anything wrong. They have sex and the doctor says, "Well again I don't see anything wrong."
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Physical Examination
A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid's little finger. A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically.
Read more »
Read more »
Monday, January 28, 2008
Coroner Report
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
Coroner tells the Inspector: "First body: A Frenchman, 72, died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."
"Second body: "Irishman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
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Coroner tells the Inspector: "First body: A Frenchman, 72, died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."
"Second body: "Irishman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
Read more »
Young Girl Went to Her Family Doctor
A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor.
"Young lady," the doctor began, "you're pregnant."
"But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes."
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"Young lady," the doctor began, "you're pregnant."
"But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes."
Read more »
Girl's Confession
The priest leaned closer to hear the girl's confession.
"So me and my cousin were alone in the house," she continued, "and went up to my bedroom..."
"Go on, my child," said the priest gently.
"I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on my....on my..."
"Go on."
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"So me and my cousin were alone in the house," she continued, "and went up to my bedroom..."
"Go on, my child," said the priest gently.
"I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on my....on my..."
"Go on."
Read more »
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Omnivorous Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow he swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
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The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
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Foreplay is an Art
Woman, "Slow down, foreplay is an art."
Man, "Well, if you don't get your canvas arranged soon, I'm going to spill my paint!"
Man, "Well, if you don't get your canvas arranged soon, I'm going to spill my paint!"
Potential and Reality
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
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His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
Read more »
New Boots
An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them and wears them home, walking proudly.
He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
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He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Read more »
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Virgin
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, he went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make the proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:
"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"
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"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"
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Woman at the Welfare Office
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid.
The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.
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The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.
Read more »
Two Mates and Their Chick
Two mates were screwing the same chick at the same time, and they were greeted with the sad news one day that their common squeeze had got knocked up. Having no way of knowing which was the father, the two mates chipped in and sent her out of town to have the little bastard.
Several months passed without either of the mates hearing from the chick, so one of them decided to find her and get some news about the pregnancy. The next day, the other dude got a call from his mate.
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Several months passed without either of the mates hearing from the chick, so one of them decided to find her and get some news about the pregnancy. The next day, the other dude got a call from his mate.
Read more »
Two Cowboys and a Heifer
Two cowboys are out rounding up cattle when all of a sudden a heifer takes off and goes wild, the heifer runs into a fence and get's her head stuck.
The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: "This is too good to pass up."
Read more »
The two cowboys get over to the fence and the one says to the other: "This is too good to pass up."
Read more »
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Kinky Sex
A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down.
"My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she said.
"What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man, "she told me that I was too kinky for her, too!"
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"My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she said.
"What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man, "she told me that I was too kinky for her, too!"
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Frank Conversation
Woman: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not - don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: Okay, I'd get married again.
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Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not - don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: Okay, I'd get married again.
Read more »
Lacerations
Mom took little johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.
Doc. said, "How did such a thing happen?"
Johnny said, "It's that damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are too darned sharp."
Doc. said, "How did such a thing happen?"
Johnny said, "It's that damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are too darned sharp."
Trip Down Memory Lane
Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.
Sitting at a cafe, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.
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Sitting at a cafe, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."
"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.
Read more »
Hawaiian Vacation
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.
They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
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They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
Read more »
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Nuns at the Gates of Heaven
Four nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. St. Peter makes the inspection.
The first one says: "I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand."
St. Peter says: "You see the bowl of holy water, wash your hand and go in."
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The first one says: "I have to confess, I held mans penis in one hand."
St. Peter says: "You see the bowl of holy water, wash your hand and go in."
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Breaking Up the Monotony
Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
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"Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
Read more »
Framed Picture
After a wonderful night of love making, the young guy rolled over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is that your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
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"Is that your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
Read more »
Free Sex
A man is driving down the freeway when he sees a sign that says, "Get gas and free sex here".
So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay.
"Pick a number from 1 - 10 to get free sex." said the cashier.
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So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay.
"Pick a number from 1 - 10 to get free sex." said the cashier.
Read more »
White Onions, Brown Onions and a 30 Centimeter Dick
What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 30 centimeter dick?
Nothing... They all make your eyes water.
Nothing... They all make your eyes water.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Dam Fish
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
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A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
Read more »
Fishing in the Jungle
A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him.
"Have you had any bites?" asked the second man.
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"Have you had any bites?" asked the second man.
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Through the Tunnel
Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling in a train. The train goes through tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
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The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Read more »
Grandma and Oranges
A young teen aged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?"
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Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?"
Read more »
Absolute Sense of Smell
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."
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"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."
Read more »
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Turner Brown
A small guy goes into an elevator and notices a huge guy standing next to him. The big guy looks down on the small white guy and says, "Seven foot tall, three hundred fifty pounds, twenty-inch dick, three-pound left ball, three-pound right ball, Turner Brown."
The small guy faints!
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The small guy faints!
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My Dad Has Two
A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex education to her class. She starts out by drawing a penis on the chalk board and asks the class, "Does anyone know what this is?"
And little Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"
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And little Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"
Emergency Number
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.
The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?"
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The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?"
Read more »
Doctor and Plumber
A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!"
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The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!"
Read more »
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Artificial Insemination
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.
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The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.
Read more »
Breaking the Pretzel Hold
Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"
Read more »
Read more »
Irishman in a Bar
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."
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The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."
Read more »
Teaching the Parrots
A lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquires.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
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"What do they say?" the priest inquires.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"
Read more »
Cough Syrup
The owner of this drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the new clerk: "What's with the guy over there by the wall?"
The new clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative"
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The owner asks the new clerk: "What's with the guy over there by the wall?"
The new clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative"
Read more »
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Don't Take the Lord’s Name in Vain
When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven.
“Sorry, old man,” Peter said, “But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 — You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.”
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“Sorry, old man,” Peter said, “But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 — You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.”
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Dead Drunk
A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
“Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside.
He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.
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“Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside.
He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.
Read more »
Gorilla Removal Service
This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
“Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?” the service guy asks. “Boy”, is the mans’ response. “Oh yeah, I can do it. I’ll be right there”.
An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, Chihuahua, shotgun and a pair of hand cuffs. He then gives the man some instructions.
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“Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?” the service guy asks. “Boy”, is the mans’ response. “Oh yeah, I can do it. I’ll be right there”.
An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, Chihuahua, shotgun and a pair of hand cuffs. He then gives the man some instructions.
Read more »
Horse and Chicken
So there was this horse and a chicken that lived on a farm. The horse and the chicken were in fact two very good friends. One day the horse fell into a mud hole that he could not get out of. The chicken saw this and said, “What should I do?”,”What should I do?”. and the horse replies,”Go get the farmers BMW and a rope so that you can pull me out”.
So, the chicken runs and gets the BMW and a rope. He drives it back, ties the rope to the horse and the other end to the car. The chicken puts the car in gear and pulls the horse out. “Wow”, the horse said. “Thanks alot out there”.
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So, the chicken runs and gets the BMW and a rope. He drives it back, ties the rope to the horse and the other end to the car. The chicken puts the car in gear and pulls the horse out. “Wow”, the horse said. “Thanks alot out there”.
Read more »
Sex Education Class
After the first week of sex education class, a young shapely teen stormed out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in the hall, the friend asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with you? You look as if you're about to kill someone."
Read more »
Read more »
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Fisherman and Businessman
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
Read more »
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
Read more »
Vasectomy
One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"
"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"
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"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"
Read more »
Penny for Your Thoughts
A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while; then the lass said, "A penny for your thoughts."
The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss."
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The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss."
Read more »
Evils of Liquor
A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe the worms closely," said the teacher putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
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"Now, class. Observe the worms closely," said the teacher putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
Read more »
The Land of Oz
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest, when suddenly a tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. When they come down and pull themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in the land of Oz. Naturally, they decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz.
Says Quayle, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Says Gingrich, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
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Says Quayle, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."
Says Gingrich, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."
Read more »
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Three Things a Man Wants in Life
A husband, wife and their seven-year-old son walk into an ice-cream shop. The dad says "I'll have a chocolate cone, and my wife here will have a vanilla."
He then slaps his son on the back of the head and says: "What do you want, fat-head?"
The lady behind the counter, shocked, says, "Why did you call him that?"
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He then slaps his son on the back of the head and says: "What do you want, fat-head?"
The lady behind the counter, shocked, says, "Why did you call him that?"
Read more »
Bad News
A doctor goes to his office one Monday and is shocked to find that it has been ransacked and the files have all been mixed up. He sees the file for Mrs. Smith, but her chart is mixed up with some of the others and he can't tell which is which.
He finally narrows it down to two charts and he decides to call her house. Mr.Smith answers the phone.
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He finally narrows it down to two charts and he decides to call her house. Mr.Smith answers the phone.
Read more »
Hard of Hearing
An old man is in the surgery, and he asks the doctor if there was any way he could find out if his wife was hard of hearing.
The doctor replied, "If she won't come in for a hearing test, you could try talking to her when you get home. If you get no response, then move a little closer and repeat what you've said. If she doesn't hear you at first, you can gauge just how deaf she is by how close you get, until she does hear."
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The doctor replied, "If she won't come in for a hearing test, you could try talking to her when you get home. If you get no response, then move a little closer and repeat what you've said. If she doesn't hear you at first, you can gauge just how deaf she is by how close you get, until she does hear."
Read more »
Confession
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
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The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Read more »
Kiss Me, Doctor
Doctor, doctor, please kiss me," says the patient.
"No, I'm sorry, that would be against the code of ethics," says the doctor.
Ten minutes later the patient says: "Doctor, please, kiss me just once."
"No, I'm sorry, I just can't" he says.
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"No, I'm sorry, that would be against the code of ethics," says the doctor.
Ten minutes later the patient says: "Doctor, please, kiss me just once."
"No, I'm sorry, I just can't" he says.
Read more »
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Short Marriage Jokes (2)
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying"
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The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying"
Read more »
Short Marriage Jokes (1)
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
Read more »
Costs an Arm and a Leg
God says to Adam, "What would you like in a wife?"
"Hmmm," says Adam, "I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like he to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me."
"Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."
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"Hmmm," says Adam, "I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like he to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me."
"Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."
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Dwarfs Pick up Prostitutes
Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
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The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
Read more »
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