Husband's Dream

An older couple wake up in the morning and the husband looks over at the woman and says, 'Wow! You wouldn't believe the dream I had...' And the woman replied, 'Yes, go on tell me.' So the husband told her. 'I had a dream that you left me after 20 years of being married.' So the wife says, 'Oh, it sounds more like a nightmare.'
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Dress For My Wife

"But why", demanded the puzzled judge of the burglar standing before, "did you break into the same store three nights running?"
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Three Friends at the Bar

Three friends were at the bar talking, and after many rounds of beer, one of them suggests that everyone admits something they have never admitted to anyone.

"Okay," says the first, "I've never told anybody I'm a gay!"

The second confesses, "I'm having an affair with my boss's wife."
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Four Catholic Ladies

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, 'My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father".'

The second Catholic woman chirps, 'Well, my son is an Archbishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Grace".'
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Lawyers' Sandwiches

Two lawyers arrive at the pub and order a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.

 Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!'
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